My love hate letter to Joss Whedon

Recently a man who many were inspired by, and helped us, embody modern feminism: is according to his soon to be ex-wife is a womanizing douchebag. Her account of their marriage and the way she was treated are not good, it is heartbreaking. The fact that he committed adultery is sad When you factor in he was a serial cheater and lead a double life, so much so that Kai didn’t know until he wanted a divorce. So Joss waited fifteen years to admit that he lied, cheated, and manipulated her. In fact, it started around the start of Buffy, and soon after they were married Joss apparently was sleeping with someone on the set of Buffy! (Side note* anyone know the dirt on that shit?) So after reading up on the scathing article on The Wrap, I’m a more than a little jolted. It featured an angry betrayed Kai Cole speaking out in order to show the world “real Joss”. It’s not pretty but in all honesty not surprising in the entertainment industry, the fact that it’s Joss that did this is surprising. My question is does his personal life, detract from his professional work? Does this incessantly cast an obscure mark on the entity of Buffy, Angel, Firefly, Doctor Horrible, Agents of Shield, and many others! Can we compartmentalize this, just brush it under the rug, or should we throw him under the bus?

So, my heart is breaking a little, fudge, okay a lot we all sort of already figured this out. (I.e. the not so subtle way he punished Charisma Carpenter on Angel*) The gravity of being outed as a misogynist, serial cheater, and master manipulator by Kai his partner of sixteen years is detrimental! Apparently, he confessed after fifteen years that their whole marriage was a lie, a shield for his public image. Also that he started his first affair on the set of Buffy. Once he crossed the line and felt powerful and the “unofficial” patriarch of Mutant Enemy. He couldn’t stop he was awash in megalomania, he just kept going. Having multiple sexual affairs, he lived a double life. When Joss as a final point told her the truth and it stunned her so badly she was distraught and eventually diagnosed with complex PTSD. Now he did that to his partner, his wife, the woman he chose to share his life with. Obviously, Joss messed up when his ride-or-die-bitch divorced and exposed him!

On the Wrap Kai Cole stated: “ Now that it is finally public, I want to let women know that he is not who he pretends to be. I want the people who worship him to know he is human, and the organizations giving him awards for his feminist work, to think twice in the future about honoring a man who does not practice what he preaches. But no matter what happens, or how people interpret this statement, I no longer have to carry the burden of Joss’ long-term deceit and confessions. I am free. ~TheWrap  

jossfreeuse3

Joss, this is not looking good for you right now.

Our first ignored issue that fans turned a blind eye too, was Joss’s treatment of Charisma Carpenter. So the story goes like this:  Charisma didn’t tell Joss that she was a few months pregnant as she was worried she would have a miscarriage again. When she finally does tell him about being pregnant Joss instead of being the nice guy he decided to be a jackass. Basically, he had to rewrite his storyline and instead of delving into the strengths, talent, and hard work.  Joss decides he’s going to punish Charisma Carpenter. Basically doing everything his power to destroy his own creation “Cordy”!  See Angel Season Four, it’s icky, uncomfortable, and made Joss look like a giant asshole, more publicly then he seemed it realize. Effectively ruining her character and taking the story to a petty level. Carpenter to her credit pulls it off. She becomes a dark selfish woman helping along a disturbing Oedipus style love Triangle with Angel and his son Conner. Joss is so emotionally scorned with his perceived smiting by Carpenter, that even the viewer can feel it. Angel is Joss’s chosen sacrificial victim and we watch him happily starting to put the metaphorical nails into Angel’s TV career coffin. Why, did we overlook this? Answer: Joss made Firefly and we all forgot. Because, Firefly Wow!

jossfreeuse1
Do attacks on his personal life, rumors, accounts, and the anger of a woman reviled, detract from what he has done professionally? Fairly Joss douche or not created Buffy, and changed television and inspired a generation of young women like me to say I can be a hero! As Buffy’s stated, “Ooooh I am quaking in my stylish yet affordable boots.” The characters are three-dimensional and are garnered many strengths, but then again were just as fallible as a real person. It was an inspiration. It said: you can do it all save the world, go to college, have friends, family, love, support, and still be strong when you’re alone. It means I can’t use my own voice and tell off all these creepy old white men!  (Watchers* Whose literal job, is to watch and to mold young girls into weapons. Yeah, that isn’t shady at all… They are literally using the girl chosen as their tool or an object to be molded how they see fit.) The undertones of that, with Joss and his personal problems are a little too close for comfort. The shows both blatant and subtle portrayal of powerful women is large, dynamic and influential.  Buffy was very symbolic to the young women who watched it. The end of B.T.V.S. strongly transports the viewer to the idea we are all chosen, strong, and powerful.

A few tidbits I learned

  • We all have the power inside us to change the world for the better
  • Women are strong, it’s okay for men to be damsels in distress
  • Guns are bad, so is beer…
  • Addiction is real and can happen to anyone
  • Family is more than just blood
  • Even thousand-year-old demons deserves second chance
  • Real life death is more bracing than a supernatural death
  • You fall in love with the person, not a gender
  • You can save the world,
  • Even thousand-year-old keys need love
  • Putting the world before yourself is hard
  • Bad boys are pretty sexy especially when they brood
  • Witty comebacks are essential
  • Growing up sucks.
  • A Musical episode should be in every show

jossfreeuse2

Buffy was very symbolic to the young women who watched it. So Joss can you seriously apologize? Honestly, your fans have literally had their hearts broken by you. If you need an example I got you. I mean just be like, dude I’m a douche. I’m sorry! Or maybe you could use the ole joss is cookie dough and is still baking thing. I don’t know much about you personally but I know that the creations you made, made me stronger.  Buffy challenged people to think of the world in a different way. It helped take some of the of pain and struggle of being a woman. Someone knocks us down, we get back up, dust ourselves off and never give up. I know these are allegations and applaud Kai for standing up for herself. Without her, we wouldn’t have Buffy, as she influenced the direction of Joss’s success.

So for me, I won’t let Joss take the love I hold for Buffy that’s mine.  Also, most of us already knew he wasn’t a real feminist we aren’t blind. When you get a rich white dude to fight for you, in this world you sometimes we don’t have a choice. As a woman I know we will always end up taking a ton of bullshit if it’s for the cause and we will keep at it! Why, would we keep on keeping on, it’s simple women kick ass.





 

Comments

comments

5 Comments on My love hate letter to Joss Whedon

    • I actually read about that Buffy is creepy if you look at it with unabashed paranoia. He might have done that, to countless actresses. From research I did I found a story talking about that episode. Supposedly it was a *female staff writers, personal story where they just flipped the genders. It apparently was meant to be more light hearted and funny but I really doubt that. In my personal opinion from supposed insider opinions and photos that he may have had inappropriate relationships with Charisma Carpenter, Amy Acker, and Felicia Day. People are actually questioning if Felicia Day’s newborn is with Joss. However, I think we should try to look at everything with an unbiased eye. It is honestly a confusing and painful subject for myself. As Joss has always been an inspiration to myself, family, and friends. What do you think?

  1. Nice argue Dani! Here is the question. Why did Zach Snyder choose to ask him to direct the rest of the justice league? Not patty Jenkins or Christopher Nolan? Also, I plan on NEVER seeing another James Cameron movie. so what about Joss who um let me give you this, the wonder woman script is so bad and misogynist I think the lord they went with Jenkins.. He’s slated to direct Batgirl. I don’t think that should stand… I say we need to start a petition to DC and Geoff Johns about appropriate directors for important women characters. https://indiegroundfilms.files.wordpress.com/2014/01/wonder-woman-aug7-07-joss-whedon.pdf

    Also, the actors really made those shows cult classics.. most of them have had a pretty successful career afterward.. you’d be amazed at the sexist shit you hear from directors. no excuse but people would be FLOORED if they heard some of this shit.. and its time to CALL PPL OUT for it.. no cookie joss

    • I have heard about the Wonder Woman script, love the movie it actually made me cry. I will have to read the script myself before I say anything.

      I don’t doubt that directors get away with tons, it is still very sadly a man’s world. Myself, I have dealt with harassment on multiple levels from comments, groping, molestation, and even violent rapes. I doubt a man could last a day in a woman’s shoes. I was actually planning on writing about just a day in the life, the fear and hyper-aware almost paranoid actions I have just walking to my car. I have always dealt with sexism, being a survivor of child sex trafficking and just being a woman it’s daily life. It is far overdue to being dealt with in our country especially with our pervert in chief. I will check out the script and get back to you. 🙂

      Wow, I just remembered the episode of Angel with Charisma Carpenter being in a national commercial and the way it was addressed almost glossed over on the show. Do you remember that episode, right before or the episode “over the rainbow” where they go to the Host’s/Loren’s dimension?

    • I have heard about the Wonder Woman script, love the movie it actually made me cry. I will have to read the script myself before I say anything.

      I don’t doubt that directors get away with tons, it is still very sadly a man’s world. Myself, harassment and everything from comments, groping, and violent rapes. I doubt a man could last a day in a woman’s shoes. I was actually planning on writing about just a day in the life, the fear and hyper aware almost paranoid actions I have just walking to my car. I have always dealt with it, being a survivor of child sex trafficking and just being a woman it’s daily life. It is far overdue to being dealt with in our country especially with our pervert in chief. I will check out the script and get back to you. 🙂

      Wow, I just remembered the episode of Angel with Charisma Carpenter being a a commercial and the way it was addressed on the show. Do you remember that episode, right before or the episode over the rainbow where they go to the hosts dimension.

UA-63992955-1
%d bloggers like this: